Since first lockdown it is has been known that millions of people suddenly had a lot more time alone at home, and it is easy to get excited about something we see a lot on the internet, for example beautiful pictures and Instagram reels of very cute puppies, where it looks like the true happiness. Loads of people rushed to get a dog or cat, as a companion or as a distraction. The thing is that now, thousands of pets have been dumped, resold or are back to shelters. Pets with behavioural issues and frustrated owners. Because somehow, those people weren’t really prepared for that.
Unfortunately, most people probably decided to get a puppy based on the internet influence and pandemic lockdown. Which is not realistic or trustworthy enough to make an important decision such as that. We can’t underestimate the responsibility of getting a pet. It involves great effort, time, money, a physical and emotional capacity as well. Puppies are very cute, sure! But they are much more than the cute pictures you can see. They will require attention; they are beings and so they have their needs as well. Being able and committed to attend their needs is a great part of the show. It is not only about your own needs anymore.
Whereas many people just acted impulsively and rushed to get a pet, on the other hand, there were also those wishing to get a pet but felt really anxious and not able to go for it, even when they really wanted to have a pet, have the space, the finance and life is fine, they still hesitated, because there was something triggering them about getting a puppy.
-Behavioural concerns: Every pet can have a different “character”. Even two dogs from the same breeder will be different, one may be quieter while the other may be quite playful or bark a lot. When talking about puppies that is something to truly consider as they may give you extra work and training needs, such as chewing things and marking their territory.
There are pros and cons that should be carefully considered such as:
-Financially: how much the pet will cost monthly, such as dog grooming, food, health insurance, medicines, needing a dog walker, pet sitter etc.
-Time wise: consider if you are able to give your dog daily walks, they might need several walks a day, can you be available to feed the pet at certain times, keep to their routine, to spend a good amount of quality time with your pet, play, park, training, etc. You may need to make time for vet appointments and make sure you plan your holidays considering the pets’ safety or where/whom to leave the pet while you are away.
-Be aware that dogs/cats/pets are not robots: they may need special care sometimes, they may fall ill, may need you to clean up sickness and house training as well, you will need to dedicate yourself to it. Keeping the environment clean and safe for you, your pet and your family.
-Dog’s owner: of course, the important point here is to consider the potential pet owner’s ability to have a pet. I mean physically and emotionally, to deal with all the things mentioned above about what does it mean to own a pet.
As a therapist and a dog lover myself, knowing that there are quite a few anxieties related to this subject, I would suggest any client with a similar issue to first use a simple and efficient exercise called “Cost Benefit Analysis” to make a decision based on facts and to explore their real will to go for it. The Cost Benefit Analysis is commonly used by business people in order to evaluate a new business prospect. It will also help an individual evaluating the aspects of getting a pet, having a think through, whether it is only you or there are others involved, comparing the advantages and disadvantages of everything it might take both in the short and long term. Then, if still considering getting a pet is a certain decision, but you are still anxious about it, I would suggest exploring what is it triggering your anxiety the most.
Despite all the research about how pets can help individuals with anxiety, depression and other mental health issues, it is essential to think about it properly. People dealing with anxiety and depression, who are looking to have a pet, should also consider whether it would be more beneficial for rather than aggravating their issues, as this could happen, if they keep to the demands of being a perfect dog/cat owner or that it must never get ill as examples. Once one is determined to get a pet, it would ideally come with the decision to better cope with the uncertainties of it as well, which is directly related to the demands of control, that people with anxiety for example usually have.
For some people, with a first pet, It could be the uncertainty of doing it well and being able to take care of a pet for example. In this case, I would say that exposure would help with increasing confidence.
Some forms of dealing with exposure in a situation like that could be the following:
-Go for walks, spend time in the park near to your place, observe dogs and their owners.
-Make a contact, talk to a dog owner, ask for tips, ask about their dog’s behaviour, pet the dog, play with the dog if possible.
– If you have a friend with dogs/pets, go visit them, see the environment, notice how they deal with their pets at home. Talk to your friends about your desire to get a pet.
-Get information, read a lot about the dog/cat breed you are wanting to get, the more you know in advance about the pet and how to take care of it, the better.
-You can offer to have your friends’ pet when they go on holiday, if you don’t have friends with pets, there are apps such as Borrow my Dog, this way you will have a very good time with a pet and fully immerse yourself in that experience as to how it would be to have a pet yourself.
After dealing with your possible demands for certainty such as:
“I must be a perfect dog owner and know what I am doing” or
“My pet can’t get ill at all, it is my responsibility”
Creating a more healthy version, following the preferences, rather than the demands:
“I will give my best to take care appropriately of my pet, I understand I will learn more and more during the process”
“I strongly prefer that my pet never gets ill, but I will deal/cope with it if it happens”
Using the opportunities to experience the exposure steps suggested above is a great way to considerably diminish the anxiety of having a pet. If you still want to have one, you really like pets and are happy to commit to the pet and keep looking after your anxiety issues, it is likely that you will be better prepared to go for it and also take care of your mental health.